The Marriage Fever

The Suitor, Francesco Beda

At my first job in Canada, I met a lovely Mongolian girl a few years older than me. Cute, tall, slim, educated, smart and single. And also terrified that she was turning 30 and there was no suitor in sight.

We were working in a cashmere store, so most of our customers were high-income professionals. Every now and then, we would have handsome and fairly young men come in to buy gifts for their wives or girlfriends. They would spend 400-500$ without blinking on a pretty sweater or a cozy wrap for the special ladies in their life, with that little private smile on their faces. You could tell they were imagining the surprise and delighted “ooh’s” and “aah’s” of the women about to receive the fluffy bundles of luxury.

Children of the Revolution

The national flag after the communist escutcheon was cropped.

It’s been 22 years. Between the 16th and the 22nd of December 1989, the Revolution that put an end to communism in Romania claimed over 1100 dead and more than 4000 wounded and constituted the only blood-shedding regime change in the Autumn of Nations.

As a child of that time, the personal film of my Revolution is a broken one, and the magnitude of the events is reflected in meaningless details of my daily life, just like a tsunami can be reflected in a single drop of water. Like all my generation, I had to learn the facts from history books. The painful images came to me via television, and, later, via youtube videos.

Rejection Kitsch

“I firmly believe that there is no good way to reject a woman”, my best male friend said, in one of our conversations about relationships. “Whether it is in person, by phone, or by email, no matter how delicately you try to treat her, she will always find fault with the way you did it.”

A while ago, I got rejected by a man I liked very much, in favor of another woman. By email, but that’s alright with me, because it would have been way more humiliating in person. While I was still going through the mainstays of any love rejection, like not being able to eat (not the worst side-effect, I have to say), picturing that other woman as a supermodel with an IQ of 200, and wishing him to go completely bald before his wedding day, the part that got me the most upset was the way he ended his email. “Best wishes in finding someone who makes you happy! You are a terrific person and deserve all the good things that life can offer.”

The Roommate from Hell

WARNING: The following blog post contains disgusting details that may give you nightmares, or, at best, destroy your appetite. The situation to be described is nowhere near as sexy as the article photo may lead you to believe!

For the past two months, I have been living with a Spanish girl of similar age. I needed a roommate, so I posted an ad on Craigslist to rent a room in my apartment. She responded enthusiastically, saying that she needed a room urgently and she was willing to move in the same day. Because I was pressured for money, I accepted, before even having a  meeting with her to see if we would be compatible. Big, big, big mistake!

Dear Abby

I’m not a fan of recipes outside the kitchen. I raise my eyebrow at the life coaches and gurus who claim to have distilled life’s complicated mechanisms into simple, bite-size rules and principles. Self-help books are the worst gifts you could give me, and I won’t even try to hide my disappointment. I don’t believe in easy, foolproof ways to think and grow rich, get the love I want, exorcize my ex, win friends or influence people. Recipes don’t work. Mantras don’t work. Telling yourself that something is real does not make it real; it just makes you delusional and it makes Rhonda Byrne rich.

Music-Tag: My 10 Favorite Music Videos on Youtube

Lately, I have rediscovered the pleasure of listening to music the way I did in my teens. As in actually listening to it, instead of using it as a background for my web surfing, my reading or my chores. Because, somewhere along the way, I lost my compass, and all music became elevator music to my ears, just a lifeless mush that served only to drown out the street noise. Too stressed and preoccupied with all sorts of practical issues, I felt guilty about enjoying anything that broke my focus.

On Mother’s Day

I haven’t seen my mother in almost two years, and I miss her greatly, even though we chat every day. She said she would come to visit me in July, and I’m already counting the days, because there are so many things I want us to do, and so many places I want to show her in beautiful Vancouver. Strolling, shopping, dining, sightseeing, talking until late into the night – I can’t wait for it!

Do Tampons Take Your Virginity? – A Marie Simas Book

A few months ago, my blogger friend Marie Simas published her first book, “Do Tampons Take Your Virginity?  A Catholic Girl’s Memoir”, in which she talks about her experience of growing up in a traditional Portuguese Catholic family… and please take the term “traditional” as loosely as you can. The book is available on Amazon.com, in both Kindle and paperback editions.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Enjoy love and chocolate! See you soon!

… and a Happy New Year!

I’m spending New Year’s Eve alone. It’s not the first time this happens, but it is the first time I’m fine with it. The other times, I was either heartbroken and couldn’t stand the sight of other people, or,  as was the case last year, I didn’t have anyone to spend it with. This year I was invited to a party, but I am way too tired to drag my bones all the way there, in the cold, and stress about catching the last bus back home. So I’m staying in, with an old movie, a nice Martini and my thoughts.